Maureen writes: I surfed with an ape today. Shaved headed, intense, grimly glaring down the waves and everyone around him. I’m guessing he thought he was pretty radical, but he surfed like an ape. Squat, bow-legged stance, both arms dangling from sloped shoulders, arms bent down at the elbow, hands curled as if gripping an invisible tree branch. Worst of all, he hopped up and down on his board like a happy, perhaps orgasmic ape, all the while his board maintaining a straight line trim. Ape.