Going Big at Ocean Beach

Great blog post. Will be interesting to see how your mojo changes as you age and your life situation changes. Plenty of older guys out there are tapping into their decades of experience. However I've found myself getting gradually losing my edge as ever-increasing responsibilites sap some of my energy.

What a great post. Thanks for the transparency. I hear you. On Saturday I just felt so off, tentative and essentially flaccid. As I paddle out these days, my mind overflows with thoughts of my wife and kids, and what would happen if I orphaned them while pursuing what is essentially a self-centered activity. I've still got the energy and drive, but my head apparently has a different agenda.

nice post man. You really brought it to life. :)
I lost my mojo in Costa Rica around Thanksgiving. I think had too many great sessions or something. My friend thinks it was nice to leave it there in the warm water but I'm such a weak chump without it. It's like I lost half my surfing experience.
Let us know when you find it again and keep up the writing.

For me, it's not about how big the wave is that makes them scary...but rather how steep the takeoff is. I remember one DOH wave I got at OB...and when I paddled back, my buddy said "wow, that was the biggest wave I've ever seen you take". I distinctly remember not being scared one bit, because the take off was so easy. Then again, I've been at OB, and dropped into head high waves that I thought I was going to die on, simply because it was so damn steep and powerful. So my point? The steeper, the scarier. The bigger and steeper, the scariest.

Nice,
As a new 38 year old with 2 little girls, career change to teaching, and 19 years at OB, 90% of which is being out there by myself, I eagerly await my re-entry into the big stuff in the next few weeks. Now if I can just keep my wife from asking me why I still need 6 boards when I've been in the water 3 times this year.

Big waves are quite the phenomenon. I constantly try and understand why I'm so interested in pushing myself into waves that feel more like survival than surfing.

I suppose its an open ended relationship that is never quite satisfied. And as you said, surfing big waves is a peaks and lulls kinda situation. Some sessions will be engrained in your mind forever while others you want to forget as soon as you hit the beach. Its that divergence that keeps us coming back.

This has more or less been my first full winter at OB since college started and ended, and its been an adventure for sure. I'm surfed out and my body feels like its falling apart. I literally am not sure if I can take another outer bar paddle and I've already broken two boards this year. I've gotten to the point this year where I paddle out just to see what happens or to get a closer look. I've bailed on a few days which I regret but I've been pretty darn consistent and had some memorable sessions in big waves with no one out.

Pushing oneself in big waves alone has to be one of the purest athletic endeavors and I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy the fear of scratching over an outside set knowing its just you and the ocean. But you get to the point where its just so hard to keep pushing yourself bigger and bigger. Especially when you don't have anyone there to call you out for pulling back at the last minute.

I've surfed big waves here in sf and sc and have even surfed mavs (its terrifying). I've seen things out in the water I could never have imagined. There is nothing more impressive than a 30 foot wave lurching in front of you and breaking top to bottom just a few meters away. The size, power, speed...its just out of this world. Images like these circulate in my memory and seem so real compared to normal reflections on the past.

Growing up as a young surfer. I was constantly swallowing surfing information. It led to me to literally studying surfer literature from the 60's. The stories from the pioneers surfing big waves were just so awe inspiring. Their stories are engrained in my subconscious as i inadvertently try to relive their adventures. When you're out there alone, I feel like we're all connected as if part of some ancient tribe. To me surfing big waves isn't just about it being a passion, its an obligation, paying tribute to the history, the fallen, the leaders, and everyone in between.

Sounds like you're surfed out, I am too man. But just remember, we only have a couple more months (depending on how this winter goes). And after that, the insanity will set in as the onshore slop takes over.

I've never actually met a big wave surfer that called himself a "big wave surfer".

In reading bios of some pioneers I notice many with broken marriages (Doyle, Curren) or angry kids (Doc Paskowitz ). Lopez moved to Bend, Oregon to raise his kid. Do we have to shut down some areas of our lives to maximize others?

i liked the post. normally, i have a tough time with "real life" writing - it's often too earnest for me. regrettably, i prefer to read about dudes that shoot bad guys and jump out of helicopters.

anyway, i found the post honest without being earnest. t'was a bit sad though. losing one's mojo is a kind of a spiral phenomenon - because once you start doubting yourself you make mistakes, feed the hesitation, and so on. i've never really had the gusto to paddle out into the big stuff in the first place, but i do realize that surfing is all about confidence - even if you have to fake it till you make it.

Know any Big Wave surfers? I do.

Mark is at the top of that list. Hands down, he's an inspiration on two feet. The first time I paddled out with him was a semi big day and he raced to the outside while I tried to get comfortable on a new board and wasn't so ready to charge. Didn't feel comfortable. Faked some trouble at the inside that I didn't really have, and finally got outside only to get punted back in by a clean up set that I took to the head.

I decided to paddle back out when I see none other than Mark paddling out. On a different board. Turns out he got to the outside the first try with ease, took a set to the head, ripped his leash plug out, and swam in. Easy 1/4 mile. Easily more. Then he (get this) drove home, grabbed his fish, drove back, and paddled back out. Later I saw photos of him going bonkers on the waves.

This he did while I was still halfheartedly trying to get out.

I've got two points:

One: The mental thing is very real. Larger than the waves.

Two: If you've got any problem with Mark calling himself a big wave surfer, I'm going to have to hope you're joking.

Surfing big beach break is super hard core. The paddle, currents, shifty peaks, sets on the head: I don't do it. Reefs and points with big channels are the only places I've ever come any where near _close_ to "big" waves. I'm continually amazed and inspired by the hell men who charge OB when it gets massive. Mad props to you all and I love the pics!

I've never actually met a guy that called himself "Pete Swedra" but if I do I'll know he's a dick on the internet.

OK. Eveyone just lighten' up. I loved the post but it comes nowhere near the forward by Fred Van Dyke to "Sick Surfers Ask the Surf Docs." The book is an interesting read but the forward will give you some perspective on OB. Some great waves this year... to mark: you will get your Mojo back... just don't go out every big day. There is always cross country skiing in the Sierra to calm the nerves.

@KingofKooks - I'm right with ya man! So eloquently said! Started surfing OB in the fall of 1980 after movin' from Hawaii where surfing was easy - in the 70's. Now, it's all about the kids, so I need to update my life insurance if I want to continue tackling big OB days.

If there's one thing I've ever learned about surfing, and life in general, it's that everything is a head trip. I'm not exactly one to talk on the big wave score, hell, I have trouble when OB is head high. But it's such a strangely perfect analogy, the bit about losing your mojo. It's a completely self multiplying cycle in both directions... Great article by the way, I really enjoyed reading it.
I recently put together a list of things that I want to do before I die, and right up there near the top is to surf a mavericks wave. Some day maybe.