The Baby Boomer and post Boomer generations are chock full of aging, out-of-shape, yet eager middle aged men whom are yearning to rediscover some vestige of their lost youth. Who can blame them? With old age comes the virtue of wisdom, but with youth comes the virtue of hot young women and any middle aged man with a detectable amount of testosterone left in his body will instinctively spend much more energy thinking about or pursuing the latter rather than the former.
To take advantage of this animalistic, yet widespread prediliction in a capitalistic, surfing manner, I propose adding an SUP line to the stokereport t-shirt line. SUPs are very expensive, ostensibly due to the amount of foam required to float the unusually large mass of most SUPers, but I figure we can make do by buying that panel insulation foam at Home Depot, siliconing it together to get at least 6 inches of thickness, then having some homeless people do the shaping in exchange for some crack. They'll probably do the glassing for free since they'll be able to get high on the fumes. I doubt if the proposed SUPs will perform much worse than the commercially available SUPs on the market today and this inexpensive manufacturing method will yield potentially huge profit margins.
It's pronounced, "Janitor of the Sea, Ess You Pee". It should get more customers if it rhymes, right?
Check out the proposed advertisement below. The hottie in the ad is practically begging to have the SUPer grind the SUP right between her butt cheeks. The message is self evident: hot women find SUPers to be irresistable!
In my un-professional estimation, this concept could earn stokereport millions and millions of dollars.
