Alexander writes: Surf movies are generally really stupid. I don’t mean surf videos, I mean surf movies that you’d go and watch at the movie theatre. The ones that star Gary Busey. The ones that star Keanu Reeves and Matt Adler and Kate Bosworth. Those ones. And to be clear, I don’t mean stupid in a bad way. I love stupid movies. But there’s a fine line – for me at least – where a movie is so bad it becomes great. The ones that are ACTUALLY bad are the ones that hover somewhere ######, not quite bad enough to be good, but nowhere near good enough to be great. Those average ones are the ones that are actually bad. Does that make sense? Either way, here they are, in order of most horribly good to bordering on those dreaded average movies.
#1: Surf Nazis Must Die
Honestly, I don’t have words for this movie. It’s like… I don’t know what it’s like. I wish I could say it’s some kind of deep comment on our society’s need to assert dominance, or maybe some kind of commentary on localism, or even a statement about racism. It’s not. There is nothing to it all. It’s the celery of surf movies. But it is so horribly bad, it’s the best. After an earthquake hits California, a group of surfers takes over the beach, fights off rival surf gangs using karate-esque techiques (they’re actually just cartwheels and Bruce Lee-like facial expressions) and kills a jogger on the beach. The jogger’s mother breaks out of her retirement home, gets a bunch of grenades, and commences haphazardly blowing things up and driving around on a motorcycle. It’s like Aunt Jemima if she were in the Mad Max movies.