Hey guys. I have been lurking for awhile, and you guys seem to be more enlightened than the average surfer. Could I maybe help you to become a tiny bit more politically correct when it comes to body part language, and female anatomy language? You know, the kinds of things you probably would not say in mixed company...? Well, this is mixed company. It is kind of weird to keep reading about your nuts, and your popped cherries, etc.
I see this is your first post congratulations on popping your stoke report cherry or would you prefer deflowered.
I would agree with Cyclona23 but I'm offended by her referring to my ding a ling.
@duckdive, right on.
I expected the razzing, and women protesting that they don't mind, and that's all good. But why do guys constantly refer to anatomy as a metaphor for their life' s struggles? Too serious a question for this forum.
Looking forward to meeting some people here.
I don't use my anatomy to refer to life's struggles other than by using the popular "American" phrase, "pain in the ass." Maria, surfers are often a semi-vulgar bunch. It is a part of our culture, and it is something the Catholic missionaries first noticed when visiting Hawaii and glimpsing the native folk there, living in sin. Thank God the missionaries did their work to rid Hawaiians of their heathen ways! And you forget --- Ocean Beach, San Francisco has a surfing community that can claim more graduate degrees among its waveriders than any other lineup in the world. Not sure where I read this, but I do believe everything I read. We are a cultured bunch.
I know I'm not the only person posting who's outnumbered 3:1 on the chicks to dudes ratio at home. Women kick ass, especially my hot wife!
One might say, misogyny and homophobia are the norm within male-centric athletic activities.
I think vulgarity takes the edge off a description of what would otherwise be a serious or unpleasant situation. Sure it's unnecessary and lazy, but not unusual. I can understand how someone might be offended as surfing is traditionally a boys club and it can seem gender-threatening, but as someone who did just post a thread about balls....I can't say I'm in the offended crowd.
However, I have been trying to tone down my cursing. Except today at OB. The only reason I wasn't cursing up a storm was because I was under water.
so, yeah, the general atmosphere in the surf culture is pretty mysogynist and one might even say uninviting at times in the forums or lineup, whatever. but there's nothing quite like paddling against an arrogant bootie-less/glove-less man on an undersized board to support his undersized cock, and making the wave.
I'm a girl and I've yet to be offended by anybody's posts here... Life's too short to get your panties in a wad over the choice of words in somebody's post session report. Lighten up and go surf!
I'm 100% with @vegansurfer on this one, though would feel better about myself had she said 'undersized ding a ling'. Actually, maybe more like only 30% with her. Now that I think about it, it seems that lots of female surfers laugh at dudes who don't quite catch the wave, without trying to comprehend the sheer force of the drag created by a gigantic ding a ling bobbing along behind (or slightly to the left of, in some cases) our boards. Oh the ineluctable curse.... but i digress.
There have been a few wipeouts where I've come up and though "man, so glad I don't have dude junk cause it would have been ANNIHILATED on that last fall..."
Dunno how you all manage smashing it on a board all morning.
dammit I srsly lol'd greg. Also tangential to all this Verionca, Tracey's friend came along today. This woman made it to the outside, and was bobbing about and then the whole lineup sees her go over the falls on an 7' (easy) wave, parallel. Then, not only that while we're just astonished out of our heads, ..she's caught inside....comes back out, and then takes ANOTHER cleanup set. Then guess who we see coming back out to us?
GIRLS RULE!!!!
i once fell and got the board rammed up my arse. really. i'm not joking. the tip went right through my wetsuit for a bulls eye. hurt like hell. thankfully i didn't need to go to the hospital ... it would have been hard to explain.
so there are dangers for guys and girls alike.
note that i didn't refer to cherry popping anywhere in this comment.
oh ... doh! i just did.
To add to that, I put Veronica on my 7' that is super floaty. No chance of duck diving it one bit. She got blasted by a few waves on the inside and kept on going. Go V!
@dd glad to know you're not a virgin, yet others should know you're quite well spoken for.
Surf industry != surf culture.
Re: shorter boards, bootie-less: jealous much? Some of us have good circulation and upper body strength. And yes, we let flimsy little vegan chicks drop in on us from time to time. At some point, you learn to share. Too bad you've mistaken someone's kind attitude for weakness and decided to be a snarky bitch (oh boy, cock size jokes -- what are you, 19?) instead.
Excuse me, I need to go pull some cured bunny ribs off the drying rack so I have something to chew in the lineup later.
@fxct -- this coming from the guy who's main contribution to stoke report is the surf thong
this is my favorite stoke thread ever. i've had that post surf glow all day and i'm accomplishing nothing of consequence at work. please keep it coming or i'll be forced to focus. penis.
this here interwebs was invented to allow us to curse, and be vulgar and crude, was it not?
no hooray4beer, it was invented for military killing applications. cursing is WAY more fun.
On a more serious note, I haven't experienced hostility in the lineup from guys. I've gotten some deserved harsh comments when I've done really just god awful kook crap.
The most hostility I've experienced was from that chica at Linda Mar who screams at everyone on otherwise mellow 2 ft days. She's incredibly negative and far worse than any other lineup behavior I've seen in person (keeping in mind I tend to surf LM, Jetty, Bolinas, Capitola, occasional OB) and any I've personally experienced from guys in the lineup.
That said, I am self conscious out there. I feel like I have little room to make mistakes or otherwise be written off as a "dumb girl". I don't think the vulgar language and ball talk adds to that, I think that's a larger societal reflection I'm putting up on myself.
dyin
I am laughing so hard I am coughing up loogies. You guys/gals are all right. Imall gonna bring my ovs and my f tubes to a dawn session soon, and see how they fare.
Maria, I'm totally gonna steal that. Tell the beach bunnies to Ov the f-up and grab a board! :D
No matter what, please keep the cocks out of the line-up:
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well... without saying the word
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POOR BB :( ahw
@stokereport - seriously you need to add a new "Rant Hall Of Fame" section to this site. Comedy gold. I think this takes first place and I would nominate "A Seal Farted On My Friend" (http://stokereport.com/rant/seal-farted-my-friend) and at the risk of being self-important, let's throw in "Parking Lot Snuggie" (http://stokereport.com/rant/surfing-parking-lot-slanketsnuggie)
@whatupwilly: at the end of every year, stokereport editors (me) create a "best rants of the year" collection. Here's the best of 2009. Additionally, at any time, you can also see top recent rants (as voted on by the community) here. Have we got it covered?
@stokereport thanks for the reminder...i totally forgot about the best of 2009 rants. looks good! i took a peak in the FAQ section thinking I might find it..but off of the "Rants" page makes a lot more sense :)
Idea, from now on everyone say, "earmuffs" before vulgarity so Maria can prepare herself. Then you can proceed the "f*cks", "sh*ts", "b*tches".
eyemuffs man, eyemuffs.
Btw, is anyone else familiar with the term "McGuffies?" Or is that strictly a midwestern term for boobs?
Seriously, does every conversation here have to lead to talking about boobs?
If so, I'll be needing two accounts @duckdive.
dear sausagefest -- i vote we shorten "earmuffs"/"eyemuffs" to just "muffs". example usage:
duckdive (muffs!) got assraped by his stick. he liked it.
