fair surfing conditions at San Mateo - Linda Mar

Not surprised the OLB'er was going off. I'm usually very chill, and quick to apologize if I ever end up being in the way...but even I had to explain to someone what "dropping in" means. It was packed as phuc out there by 5pm. Even the "last resort" parking lot was packed by the time I was drying off. You'd have thought it was a 90 degree holiday weekend. Aside from the crowd, the conditions were nice and it was still definitely worth it.

Would someone please punch OLB in the face. Even an an old fart like me wouldn't put up with his regressive rants.

Yeah punch him! violence is always the answer..

5 thumbs up and I'll post his pic so you all will know what to look out for...

Ha ha out him.

No, "violence" isn't "always the answer," and if you take me serious, then you too have regressive behavior issues.

I like @ SMLM4LIFE and Kevowevo's ideas. As I still am doubting OLB even exists, with the exception that he exists in every lineup.

4's enough for me... He's the dude drinking the beer. Ironic f'king picture, but that's the "OLB".

If any of you have anything to say to me come see me and talk your tough guy talk to my face.

That tattoo didn't turn out so good.

Still, could be worse: http://stokereport.com/rant/bad-shark-tattoo

That photo has "online dating profile" written all over it. Ladies beware!

@OLB We aren't here to "tough guy talk" or fight you bro. We are here to educate you. This community here on SR is all about stoke. We don't paddle out to fight or demean anybody, we paddle out to have fun, get away from our shitty jobs, be kids again. Join us bro. You have never been a dick to me, and I've surfed with you more then a few times. Let's just keep that kindness to others. Cuz like some one said on SR before, we are all brothers from another mother when we are in the water, especially when shit gets hairy and dangerous. Besides, I think everyone would agree that the heckling and agro stuff is more of a Santa Cruz thing, not SF/ SM or Marin thing.

I thought OLB looked like this from all the posts about him being old and grumpy...

Haha real tough guy there, piss! Hell, I'd still be scared of him in the lineup. He creeps me the f out. And my eyes hurt now...

"Outing" somebody anonymously on a website??? Does anyone else think this is super lame? I'm not a Pacifica local; I keep a low profile. But I've surfed there a long time and have had negative encounters with this guy from like 15 years ago. But at this point, I'm on his side. You guys have crossed the line into weasel-dom. He's right, you should be talking to his face.

I agree with SMLM4life's view, but get out from behind your computer .
Thumbs up or thumbs down.....you guys need to grow a pair if you wanna talk.

Ha!!! That's him? That's the angry OLB you speak of? How funny, because that guy has been a pain in the ass fixture at LM for years. He's a legend in his own mind...thinks he's the regulator at pipeline or some such nonsense. The Sonny Garcia-worshipping dude has no style or grace...his polio-evoking right arm always bent, twisted and extended, herky-jerky jaunts to the nose...looks and surfs like you might imagine a chimpanzee would surf....loves to show-off that ugly tat. Just ignore him. BTW, that one-time forced smile probably cracked his face. BTW again, for any newbs out there, if you see OLB in the lineup, sit close to him so he can regale you with his surfing virtuosity. Also worth noting: from his actions at the beach and now through posting his own mug shot on the web, he is his own best "outer". Does anyone else see the hilarity in his self recognition as the A-- H--- in these posts?

keep the bull-shit at the beach.this is lame

I have never had a problem with him. People who drop in, get in the way, and dont belong in certain conditions get told to take a hike by this dude and although his manner may be gruff it lends to a greater over all experience in my mind. Like it or not he makes the line up safer for everyone.

Enforcing against disrespect at a real surf break is sometimes good and necessary. Straight off punching someone in the face for accidentally being in the way, in two foot slop, at the #1 beginner surf spot on the entire west coast, well it seems to have hit a nerve and gotten out of hand.

My personal philosophy is that I don't get mad at people unless they had bad intentions. The anger will eat me up, it's not good for my health. I know that spot is gonna be jam packed with kooks every day, so I've got to adjust my attitude when I paddle out there. You're gonna have some clueless people drop in, bail their boards, even make you straighten out on a decent wave or two. Best thing to do is just ignore it and have fun. They'll get educated when they finally paddle out at a real surf break. Look at the guys who surf Waikiki every day, they know how it's done. Aloha.

"With summer upon the Northern Hemisphere, the ocean will team up with the sun and attract people from all walks of life to her shores.

The movement of the waters will caress the ankles of the meek, the knees of the pensive, and the bodies of the bold.

Many will be seduced by the motion of the waves and will then attempt to dance with her in each their own way.

Look around you and support those with eyes wide open. It does not matter what they choose to ride, or even how they ride it.

Encourage this initiation into her world, because the more of us that choose a life in the water, the more the world will be a better place.

There is nothing that will free one's spirit more than the gift of an ocean wave."

Thank God I stopped surfing the Marg. Kookreport x 1000000.

It has been my observation that a violent action tends to universally precipitate an unfavorable social reaction to the perpetrator. Usually, when somebody does something to hurt another person, the appropriate thing to do is to apologize. Sincere apologies should be accepted, even if it is very difficult. Why? because it shows you are wiling to admit wrong thinking, and ask for forgiveness. If I had physically assaulted somebody in anger, then I would probably feel very uneasy about my actions afterwards, in which case I would tend to mask my insecurity as defensive posturing. I've seen violence between people, and I've been on the receiving end of violent behavior from other surfers. I've also been on the forgiving end of other surfer's (and other people's) actions. People who have the humility and integrity to forgive are the ones I instantly develop great respect for. The experience of being forgiven by others continues to teach me how to behave properly, to keep my life in perspective and to remain in touch with the feelings of those people around me who share the water as well as this life. I'm glad those people are in the majority because without them we would be lost. Well, those are my two cents, take em or leave em.

You're the biggest kook here, BarnSwarm. Why do you keep showing up?

So the response to being called out for violence and intimidation (at the molehill) is more intimidation? Perhaps something is not getting through.

Sharkturd,my post was not directed at you..I think twice now I posted after you with a overall comment.I just noticed that-

A righteous observation, dewd. But look at it this way. Anyone pretentious and megalomaniacal enough to post their own picture as the proud face of a ridiculed bully, well, what does that tell you? That they're completely clueless already and nothing will change that. It's akin to, say, a discussion of the awful child-porn proliferation and the pederast sends his pic along with his comment. In other words, perverted thinking.

(_X_)

OLB does not exist. If he did, he would have been posted about in the past, butt had not.

Check it out, no orange board pic, no past posts of him, not even the regulars who surf LM have EVER made mention of him. Only the newbies have.

Wait for it, here it comes . . .

I didn't think that it was, fin, thanks. But on another level, I don't think this is bullshit, but rather legit discussion that needs the light of day....also, nobody wants to KEEP the bullshit at the beach. I think we all go the beach to ESCAPE the bullshit.

For the hilarity, Capra, the hilarity. Peace brother. Rainbows, funshapes and unicorns. Good vibes and soft focus soul bro. Got a killer 8'0" hull that hides my lack of skill. See you at boathouse brother. Shaka, dude, double overhead shaka.

Just like every surf community needs a place like Lindamar, every Lindamar needs an enforcer like OLB... better to learn the facts of life sooner than later. If that shit don't fly at LM, better believe it ain't gonna fly at the lane or the beach. Consider OLB part of your training... every experienced surfer has dealt with the likes of OLB many a time, at many a spot... learn to deal with it.

You see, while no one wants to be that dude, or see that dude, or god forbid, piss off that dude, we NEED him on that Orange Long Board. His existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. Thank you, OLB, for doing the dirty job that no one wants.

Bullshit.

Sometimes people need to get told that they are doing something wrong. This conversation should be respectful, kind, and helpful. "Hey, did you know that when you paddle here you are in the way of other surfers? When you paddle out you should paddle that way", etc. That's the kind of enforcer a beach needs. Not a jackass that yells at anyone that got in the way of HIS wave.

Only with repeated and clearly intentional wrongdoing should an "enforcer" resort to yelling. There's no excuse for it in any other case. Especially in 4 ft, weak, shoulder-y surf.

Everyone in the water is a person, and everyone deserves equal respect regardless of surfing ability. How anyone on this site or in the water can encourage or even accept such a lack of respect and decency is mind blowing. Try pulling the same shit in the grocery store…

I have no respect for this jerk, and I have no problem with him being called out. The beach is a public place, and if someone wants to act like an ass in a public place then they accept that it might be recorded or discussed. Here's hoping that the next guy he punches hits him back with assault charges.

the point is, once you experience OLB guy, you realize you need to watch yourself at all times in all lineups, or you will very possibly be called out by OLB type guy and berated and yes, even possibly unjustly physically violated... it can happen anywhere for any stupid reason... go ahead, bury your head in the sand... just dont even bother going to Hawaii if you cant deal with OLB guy. Like with rips, rocks, reefs, double-up closeouts, jellyfish, sunburns, and kooks, learning to identify and avoid OLB guy is part of surfing at most crowded breaks.

@cbrody, I'm sure OLB is ecstatic as hell about you crowning him the de facto king of the kiddie pool. LMAO. Maybe he should take his training act on the road. Cowells? So many kooks, so many lessons to give!...and how nice of you to advocate for not just physical violence, but "unjust physical violence" as part of the learning curve. Are you freakin out of your mind?

"his existence saves lives"...Oh please, a little melodramatic, no? Ever thought about script writing?

Look, it's only surfing...there's no need for rage...get over it...get over yourself.

I saw OLB trying to regulate a crowded san mateo other a few months ago. Worst regulator ever. He was telling SUPs they were good and yelling at shortboarders. Nobody was dropping in on anybody. He was just being a wave pig.

OLB can be hilarious, I've only seen him in action twice. The combination of how territorial and angry he gets at Linda Mar is so pathetic it makes it funny, I've witnessed him yell at some dude, "your not even local." I was laughing but he did ruin most everyone else's session. The guy is just a bully he needs to take anger management classes or have one of those Good Will Hunting moments, "it's not your fault OLB, it's not your fault."

@turd, No-go on the script writing, I stole that line from the clip... maybe I was reaching a bit - Honestly I just wanted to work in a good movie scene and thought there was a bit of a parallel there... acting in rage is obviously stupid, but this seems more like a pattern of localism and intimidation meant to regulate kook crowds and get himself more waves. My "we need him on that wall" was alluding to the fact that there are no referees in surfing, and without the threat of some consequence people would just start making their own rules. And I was trying to be funny. And that's a great monologue by Jack. And doesnt OLB guy kinda look like a Klingon Jessop?

Im not condoning OLB dude's behavior at all, over the years Ive had my share of run-ins with these guys, they suck. Its just that the sooner you learn to recognize these types in the lineup and develop tactics to avoid confrontation, the more fun you will have surfing. OLB dudes patrol the waters world wide. They are in their comfort zone, will possibly outweigh you, have bros in the lineup, may be various degrees of crazy or drunk or high, and get more than their fair share of waves. And, oh yeah, on land they are often known as "likes to fight" guy. Just? No. Reality? Harshly, yes.

Ok, now if I could just get over myself we'd be all good.

I think OLB may have fetal alcohol syndrome, and that's why he yells and screams so much. He gets angry when he doesn't understand things, like people dropping in on each other in shit waves. Anyway, my theory is his mommy got drunk a lot when he was in her tummy and that leads us to where we are today. Like it or not, he really is the Pacifica regulator. Love it! WE CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!!

Wow Piss-Shiver, you and OLB should get a room possibly..

Surfing.....so easy a Caveman can do it......

We shared the same holodeck and surfed together a lot. Needless to say, on the holodeck, I dropped in on him and we simulated punches to the face.

photoshoppers are killing it today.

@Cbrody = my new hero.

Its unbelievable to me that every time someone actually drops knowledge on this site they are down voted by hoards of beginners that cannot have been surfing for more than five years. Here's the thing. Tough love in the lineup has been a part of surfing FOREVER. Any grom in a local lineup deals with it from the same guys that drive them to the beach. Its part of the learning process. Anyone with talent in the water has experienced it and should understand it. There maybe a line that maybe shouldn't be crossed, but to think that folks like OLB shouldn't be around is pure none sense. We need them. We need them to thin out the kooks that will stop surfing after a year because they can't handle the fact the the ocean isn't a like their preschool class where the teacher pats you on the back and tells you to try again after making a mistake. If you're not weathered enough to deal with some tough love then you might not be weathered enough to deal with the ocean.

Like it or not OLB keeps people safe. I remember the first time I got a talking to at the beach for ruining a guys barrel. I have NEVER made that mistake again.

Now I'll sit back and watch as the down votes rain on my post because stoke apparently has nothing to do with reality.

Maybe GEICO will sponsor him!

Last, but not least. I will say this. I don't condone violence in the lineup. Ever. Thats just as dangerous as any kook move that can be made. That said, a little yelling never hurt anything but someones ego and is sometimes needed to teach a valuable lesson. Rant complete.

Still love all you stoke reporters even though sometimes my own personal OLB comes out. Hes gone now.

0nly 6 more comments till 50!!!

So many opportunities to see more mail order bride ads and sears ads.

Re regulators, one of my favorite stories involved a self-proclaimed 'welcome wagon' at a break down south. Got into it with a dad's young kid, ended up on the beach with dad. Got to experience the old sand the eyes and rock on the head maneuver. Down for the count and couldn't happen to a nicer guy. Moral of the story, no matter how 'bad' a dude you think you are, there's always somebody badder, and karma is a bitch.

Supporters of enforcers...I have always believed the: ocean, waves, currents, bottom features, air/water temp, threat of critters, etc, etc, etc, have been the things that regulate behavior in the lineup.

I really don't like the idea of outing people on a website. Mob rule is never a pretty picture. But at the same time, if you spend your ADULT life jamming people into lockers in the hallway...well you eventually become the joke.

"Slamming people into lockers", great metaphor...but is it still "outing" when someone volunteers to be that poster boy for boors and bullies?

Ha, 50!

OLB does not "keep people safe". If you need to be kept safe at waist high Linda Mar, may I suggest a soft board, helmet, and life vest.

50th post gets a prize

@fatnewt I don't know about the OLB, but damn, Nick Lowe is f'king classic!

Are you f@cking kidding me??!?! Anyone who use "regulate" and "Linda Mar" in the same sentence is a kook. Regulate yourselves... Let's keep it real...OLB is a retarded, has been, baldin, wave hog.

An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind. I know you guys love to hate on this dude but geeeez, he's a person too!

for those pathetic loosers that can't surf and have to degrade people on the computer you just keep doing what you're doing and suck at surfing, and hiding behind your screens. keep putting people down and making fun of them, you're nothing but bullies. at least when someone has the balls to yell at you and call you out in the line up, they're doing it to your face so be a man/woman and take it or the f**k out of the water.
and if linda mar is so pathetic and a sorry wave then don't come back. maybe go down to malibu and get your asses handed to you on a silver platter. xxxxooooo

Might just be me, but in that pic OLB posted, it sure does look like he's been waxing up the bottom of his board. Nothing says "HARDCORE" more than a nice double deck wax job.